I was walking across a bridge one day, and i saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. so I ran over and said “stop! don’t do it!”

“Why shouldn’t I?”, he said.

I said, “Well, there’s so much to live for!”

He said, “Like what?”

I said, “Well…are you religious or atheist?”

He said, “Religious.”

I said, “Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?”

He said, “Christian.”

I said, “Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?”

He said, “Protestant.”

I said, “Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?”

He said, “Baptist!”

I said, “Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?”

He said, “Baptist Church of God!”

I said, “Me too! Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?”

He said, “Reformed Baptist Church of God!”

I said, “Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?”

He said, “Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!”

I said, “Die, heretic scum”, and pushed him off.
– Emo Phillips

Hope all your Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanzaa/PastafarianDay wishes came true. Have a safe New Year’s Eve, all.

“We may be forced to erase his package with digital effects.“

That’s my favorite sentence so far this week.