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Bad Jedi


I'd be a bad jedi. I really would. And I don't mean bad like a
bad-ass jedi... I just mean bad.

I like to think when it came to the big things, like fighting the Empire,
rescuing princesses, killing intergalactic gangsters to save my buddy
and stuff like that, I'd do the right thing. I mean, I think it's kind of
easy to be noble on the big things when everyone is watching.

Officer: License and registration.

Jedi-me: You don't need to see my license and registration.

Officer: I don't need to see your license and registration. Do you know how
fast you were going?

Jedi-me: I was going the perfect speed.

Officer: You were going the perfect speed!

Jedi-me: You're sorry for stopping me.

Officer: I'm sorry for stopping you.

Jedi-me: Give me your donut.

No, where'd I'd screw up is the little stuff. I mean the everyday things.
That jedi mind trick stuff would be the real killer. I'd use it all the time.
Just think of all the possibilities.

Never have a traffic ticket again, that's for sure.

Oh man... would I ever get through lines at the supermarket quick or what!
"You don't want to be in front of me in line..." ...all the way to the front,

I'd surely get great deals at the car dealership too! "You don't need that
dealer mark-up. You'd be happy to pass the savings on to me.
" I'm pretty
sure the A/C, CD Player and the rest of my options would be fairly easy to
finagle at that point.

I suspect the lightsabre might get me into trouble too. Anyone know if
there's a jedi code against using it as a bottle opener?