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It's Called an Appointment, People


Once upon a time, the Los Gatos DMV was a little known secret. It had the shortest lines of any DMV in the South Bay and was worth a little extra drive time. It just figures that now that I live IN Los Gatos, that secret is no longer a secret it seems. The crowd that hits the LG DMV daily is so massive there isn't even any parking.

Massive and stupid. Massively stupid, in fact.

So I show up at my scheduled appointment time (2:30 in the afternoon on a Wednesday) and park down a side street. I don't know if any other DMV's are set up like this one, but the one in Los Gatos is interesting. It has you go to a starting point counter (with one line for appointments and one line for morons) like most DMVs I've been too. But instead of telling you which line to go stand in, they give you a number and tell you to watch the monitors for your number.

Armed with "A28", I went to stand amongst the herd and await my fate.

The monitors showed various numbers and window assignments. One A number (A18, I believe), a couple D numbers and several G numbers. It didn't take long to piece together that A numbers seemed to be reserved for appointment holders and they were being called rapidly.

In case I haven't made clear how crowded it is, it somewhat resembled an airport terminal during the holiday season. People sitting and standing everywhere, watching the monitors and bitching about how long everything is taking.

One woman seated in front of where I was standing made sure to tell everyone that she had been there for "three hours and still had 10 numbers to go!" She was a G-something number, apparently. She got persnickety whenever an A, B, C or D number got called.

A woman who had just walked up overheard the three-hour-G-lady and sort of gasped. "I have an A number, what does that mean?" she asked.

I leaned over and said, "You have an appointment, right? Means you'll probably be outta here inside ten minutes. That's about how long I've been here and I'm next..."

Three-hour-G-lady gave me a really dirty look. Like it's my fault she's a dumbass.