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The (Too Long) Tale of My Shower


Ok. So, my shower is jacked. It's been doing this fucked up thing for a while where I get only cold water out of the showerhead yet I can get hot and cold out of the faucet. It's very messed up. I don't like cold showers. I'm grumpy enough in the morning as it is.

Three times the apartment complex's maintenance dude has come 'round and fixed it. Well, it's hard to call it "fixing it" when he's had to do it so often. The last time, he said if it happened again, they'd have to bring out a plumber and may need to tear out the shower. (Oh, great.)

So, of course, it happens again and today, the plumber is here and he and the maintenance man had this exchange:

ThePlumber: Here's your problem, this part has too much play. You're losing all your hot water right here.

MaintenanceMan: Ok. But why is there hot water coming out of the faucet but not the shower head?

TP: I don't believe that. I haven't seen it happen.

MM: It's happening. I've fixed this for the resident 2 or 3 times.

TP: I haven't seen it happen. Have you seen it happen?

MM: I've witnessed it. It's happening.

TP: I won't believe it till I see it happen.

MM: I've witnessed it. I've fixed this for the resident before.

Me: Uh, yeah. I've witnessed it too...

It's at this point that I considered going and getting my gun, but decided against it... although I think any judge would agree that I'd have been justified.

At any rate, I don't know whether or not the plumber was convinced that it

was really happening, but I don't really care either. They moved on to

discussing how to fix the possibly mlythical problem:

MM: If we need to replace the valve, hopefully we can just cut a chunk out of the wall around there and work through that, then put a bigger plate back on. It would be better than cutting out all the drywall. We've done it 3 or 4 times over the past couple years.

TP: It can't be done.

MM: I've seen it done.

TP: There's no way. It can't be done.

MM: A guy from your company came out and did it before. I saw it.

TP: It can't be done.

MM: Maybe we can get someone else out from your company who might be able to try...

TP: Look, if I can't do it, nobody can.

MM: ...but I've SEEN it done.

At that point, I left them to their conversation. I really couldn't give a flying fuck how they decided to fix it... I just wanted it fixed. So I sat down on my couch to go back to work and they spend the next hour or so engaged in thrilling plumber discourse and clanking around. They also both leave and come back randomly.

Then, just now, the plumber comes out.

TP: Ok, it should be fixed.

Me: Uh, what did you do?

TP: Well, I replaced the cartridge. The one he had on it had these ports that were probably getting blocked by the handle..blahblahblah

Gee. Now it doesn't seem like the problem was really all that scary and complex that he should have needed 2 or more witnesses to believe it was really fucking happening. That said, my confidence that the problem has been fixed is about nil.