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The Rockstar Games Problem


Rockstar, we have to talk.

You know I like your games. Oni, Midnight Club, Max Payne, GTA, and more. Fun games. All very pretty. Mostly with good gameplay. Some of them even have actual stories. You know me, right? I've been a fan since before GTA was a household word. I played Grand Theft Auto ONE! Not many gamers can say that. We go way back.

But we need to talk about something important now...

I'm sure you know, there's a sort of a war going on against video games. Of course you do, you get brought up a lot. You and I are supposed to be on the same side in this little struggle against censorship and blah, blah, blah. Right? We both want that, right?

Sure we do. But, see, man... you're like that obnoxious friend that tags along with someone to a party. You get drunk and more obnoxious. The host and other party goers are unhappy, but since you're friends with their friend they let it slide. That is, until you piss in the potted plants and molest the poodle. Now you're kicked out and your friend has to apologize for you and might not get invited back themselves.

What I'm saying is... Put the goddamned poodle down. You're going to ruin it for everyone.

Or to put it another way, if I were Tony Soprano, and you were one of my guys... you'd need to worry about getting clipped right about now, before becoming a bigger liability.

See, with this fucking "Hot Coffee" bullshit you've pulled you've seriously weakened our side of the argument. You do nothing but give ammunition to folks like Jack Thompson and Senator Clinton to use in their little crusades.

You have to treat the ESRB with some fucking respect and realize, it's not a hurdle you have to get over to get a game out the door. It's a TOOL for BOTH sides of this fight. You be honest with the ESRB and get the rating the game deserves, then you get to keep making cool games that are as edgy and provocative as ever. Parents get an honest and accurate tool to help them decide what games their kid should be allowed to play.

GTA:San Andreas should have had an "Adults Only" rating, not a "Mature" rating and you damned well know it. You also OUGHT to fucking know that an "Adults Only" rating won't hinder your sales that much. You know there are plenty of people out there that will say, "Holy shit, that new Rockstar game got an AO rating! I gotta see this!" You know this.

So, anyways, straighten up, apologize and play fair. Then get back to work. Fight's not over yet.

OH! And and another thing, stop blaming "Hackers" and "Modders" for this thing. It makes you look like a stupid liar, instead of just a liar.

PS: I blame Tycho'
s rant
for getting my engines revved on this topic today.