Get comfy, kids. I learned something astonishing recently and I want to tell you all about it.
The banana is proof of Intelligent Design, and therefore, by logical extension, proof of the existence of God.
Kirk Cameron and his evangelist friend Ray Comfort have a series of materials to help the Saved convert their friends and family. The ministry they've put together is called The Way of The Master. (I can't tell if that sounds more like a Chow Yun Fat movie or an ancient text by Sun Tzu.)
Anyways, they have these videos. One of the videos is about Atheists. (Hey! That's me! Well, at least until I heard about the bananas!) In this video, Ray Comfort (isn't that the most warm and inviting name ever?) explains how because someone made a soda can, so must all things have a maker. He explains this to establish the playing field so that we know what kind of brilliant thinker he is. Then, he explains how the banana is the atheist's nightmare.
Allow me to repeat that last part in case you were skimming: The banana is the atheist's nightmare.
He explains this by pointing out that the ridges on the banana, three on top and two below, match the "grooves" of your hand as you hold it. This proves that "the banana and hand are perfectly made, one for the other." Some other features are that it has a non-slip surface, a pull tab to open it, a biodegradable wrapper that is "perforated" and folds down gracefully over your hand, a top which is just the right shape for the human mouth and it's curved towards the face.
All of that is simply irrefutable proof that it must have been made by God. Right? See for yourself. The full episode is on Google Video here (28:37). Or, you can check out just the banana segment of the episode here (02:07).
Well, some skeptics have replied with one word: Pineapple.
Pretty clever, but I'm so convinced by the banana argument, what do I do? It's too early to have my faith shaken so severely... OH! I know! The pineapple is obviously the fruit of the devil! Right? What? No?
That's the last time I let Kirk Cameron be my spiritual guide.
I do think Ray's partially right about the atheist's nightmare bit... personally, I think it's Ray Comfort in a banana suit.