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Pope To Muslims: Oops, You Heard That?!


A few days ago, papal newbie, Pope Benedict XVI was addressing some of his fans at the Vatican. In a questionable career move, he made some remarks about Islam that has really pissed off a lot of people with beards.

The Pope, addressing the press, said "Man, I didn't think any muslims would hear me. Who knew those guys even spoke Latin? Fuck, those guys are touchy."

Muslim nutjobs everywhere have demanded that the Pope "take it back" or they will "kick his ass." They further demonstrated their peaceful natures by shouting, burning effigies, firebombing churches and in one case, shooting a nun who spent her life helping sick people in Africa.

"Hoo boy! Yeah, you guys are real rational. I see that now. My bad," the Pope responded. "Sh'yeah right."

The slightly less nutter muslims in the world responded with more peaceful retorts. "Look, the whackjobs with the guns and all the fire and stuff don't speak for all muslims," one muslim chilling at Starbucks said, "besides, we're kinda 'we're rubber and you're glue' with the Pope anyways. Christians and Catholics and whatever shouldn't go pointing the finger about violence. Remember the crusades, anyone?"

The Pope's manager issued a very brief statement on behalf of the Pope this morning, stating that "the big guy" regretted pissing off his muslim fans. When pressed for further comment, the manager said that he knew the Pope was working on some new material, but didn't realize it would be so "edgy" and that they might discuss toning it down.

When asked for comment, the Dali Lama simply shook his head and said, "Dude."

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