I like to think I'm pretty good with words or, at least, sufficient with them. I'm no Tolstoy, Tolkein or even Tollhouse, but I do ok. However, this modicum of talent isn't enough to help me construct a sentence than can truly communicate how much I hate Jackass and the parties involved.
Unfortunately, it isn't enough to just avoid watching Jackass and believe me I do, lest the bile rise so high that it spills from my eyes. See, the big problem with a new Jackass movie is hearing about it everywhere. Or rather, hearing about howso many people like it.
Jackass isn't interesting. It isn't clever. It isn't charming. It isn't funny. But it is popular.
Ok, the "funny" part is subjective, obviously. But I don't find it funny. I mean, come on. It's intentionally dumb. "Let's see what happens when I get hit with a tazer. Ow!" Yeah, fucktard, it hurts. You know what? Everyone already knew that. It was designed to hurt. The same thing goes for whatever dumb ass thing they're doing to their testicles this time around. Oh, hit them with a pool ball? Guess what? It hurts. Newsflash. Fuck.
So, why do so many people like it? Is schadenfreude so prevelant in American society? Or, perhaps, this isn't an American thing. Maybe the reach of Jackass is global and it's more a statement of the human condition that so many people are amused by such intentional retardation?
As much as I hate Jackass, it depresses me how many people like or, worse yet, love it. Seriously. I do my best not to judge people for liking it (my collection of books and dvds isn't exactly exclusively highbrow, ya know), but it still boggles the mind and crushes the spirit.
And just for the record, not a word of this has been hyperbole, I find this shit seriously depressing. Ok, except maybe the bile thing, since I don't know if it's physically possible. It certainly feels like it is, though.
So, anyways, if you like Jackass or want to see it, go right ahead. Just don't talk to me about it if you're not up for a really frank discussion about what I think, because it's only been out a few days and I'm tired of biting my tongue and I gotta save some restraint for co-workers.