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r3v.com

Background Processes

r3v

As most people know, a computer can run certain tasks in the background. These are jobs that it's doing behind the scenes and typically hidden from the user, sometimes at the user's request. Most people's brains work like this too, to some degree. I know hardcore coders who are constantly thinking about whatever problem they are trying to solve and will, in the middle of lunch, have a "eureka" moment. Hell, I've done the same and I'm just a Perl hack (at best).

However, my mind is cluttered with much less important background tasks. For example, the other day I was chatting with a friend and he was having a particularly dreadful day. "Shoot me," he requested. I responded that I was all done with killing for the day and he needed to ask again tomorrow, or some such. So, he said, "I didn't say you had to kill me." My retort was so unfunny that I don't even recall what it was. However, unbeknownst to me, a background process started running.

This morning, I'm in the shower and an epiphany strikes me. The proper response would have been, "What? And waste a bullet?" Now, I don't claim that it's comedic genius, but it is better than whatever the other line was.

Why the hell was my brain still working on that? It's not like I can ping the guy two days later and deliver the re-written punch line. Hell, it's not even that funny: just a minor improvement.

I need some sort of Activity Monitor or task manager for my brain. Or maybe just a command line...

ps -ax  | grep -i "stupid joke" | awk '{print "kill "$1""}' | zsh

(I realize the flaws with the above line, it's a joke. Lighten up.)