So, we're both feeling like crap. My lungs are bugging me from weeks with bronchitis and she has a massive headache. So, this is the exchange:
GF: "I need to put my head in a vice."
ME: "I don't have a vice big enough."
GF: "Are you saying I have a fat head?"
ME: "No... I'm saying I don't have a fat vice."
If you don't hear from me after a while, this might be why.
At least she laughed...