Bill Maher’s got a documentary coming out in October called Religulous. The trailer is out and it looks pretty good. Maher’s typical quick wit and no-holds-barred commentary look like it will A) make for an interesting movie and B) possibly get him killed.

I will be there on opening day.

On the trailer page, there is also a link to DisbeliefNet, a site which I had never heard of before. Actually, the site looks like it’s put together to support the movie (a quick whois on the domain reveals it to be owned by Lion’s Gate), but has some pretty interesting and humorous content itself.

I especially appreciated the article on The Evolution of The Burkini. Hot stuff.

I got into an odd discussion about calendars and leap years, so I did a little wiki research on the topic and stumbled across this tidbit: “In the Islamic calendar, leap months are not used. They are forbidden by the Qur’an, which says…”

WTF? Were they running out of shit to ban?!

Mecca, sometime in the 7th century. A wise looking prophet, MUHAMMED, sits with a SCRIBE. MUHAMMAD dictates as the SCRIBE scribes.

SCRIBE

“Ok, cartoons of the prophet. Got it. What’s next?”

MUHAMMAD

“Leap years!”

SCRIBE

“What?”

MUHAMMAD

“I hate that shit. I can never remember how many days in February!”

SCRIBE

“I’m not adding that. It’s stupid.”

MUHAMMAD

“You have to! I’m fucking Muhammad and an angel told me Leap Years are evil! Don’t make me add something about stoning mouthy scribes…”

SCRIBE

“FINE. Whatever. Next?”

The above didn’t actually happen, as the Qur’ān did not exist in book form at the time of Muhammad’s death in 632. It is, however, funnier this way. It would be funnier still as a cartoon.

(Any readers wanting some relgious tolerance in their posts today should look elsewhere.)

Archbishop Asshole Chimoio is the head of the Catholic church in Mozambique. There are about 20 million people in Mozambique. The CIA World Fact Book has this to say about Mozambique’s population:

Population: 20,905,585
note: estimates for this country explicitly take into account the effects of excess mortality due to AIDS; this can result in lower life expectancy, higher infant mortality and death rates, lower population and growth rates, and changes in the distribution of population by age and sex than would otherwise be expected; the 1997 Mozambican census reported a population of 16,099,246 (July 2007 est.)

The United States Center for Disease Control, has this to say:

Mozambique is one of 15 focus countries of the Emergency Plan which collectively represent at least 50 percent of HIV infections worldwide. Under the Emergency Plan, Mozambique received nearly $37.4 million in FY2004 to implement a comprehensive HIV/AIDS prevention, treatment and care program in line with Mozambique’s national strategies. In FY2005, the U.S. is providing more than $57.2 million to support Mozambique’s fight against HIV/AIDS.

A 2003 CIA estimate puts the HIV/AIDs infection percentage at 12.2%. Other estimates have it as high as 16.2% (That one came from the BBC article, I will link to shortly.)

The BBC article also says that “17.5 per cent of Mozambicans are Catholic.” The CIA Factbook says 23.8% were Catholic according to a census in 1997.(Now, please note, there’s no data to correlate those two sets of numbers (percentage of HIV positive vs percentage of Catholic), and I’m not trying to imply any linkage without such data.)

This is just to illustrate that AIDs is one of the worst problems facing Mozambique, Africa and the world. It’s also to point out that Archbishop Chimoio has some amount of sway over at least 1/6th to 1/5th or more of the population.

So, what does he do? He not only continues to wave the idiotic Catholic banner against condoms, but claims that there are two countries in Europe that are making condoms that actually contain the HIV virus on purpose. He is either mentally imbalanced or willfully deceitful. Those are really the only two options I can come up with.

He also claims that the anti-retroviral drugs being used to combat HIV are also infected with the virus. So, not only is he actively enabling the spread of the disease, he’s trying to inhibit the tools that will help the already infected. So, maybe there’s another option? He’s fucking evil?

It’s reprehensible and irresponsible to attempt to stop the use of condoms in the first place. Furthermore, it’s despicable to spread such FUD about condoms and the anti-retrovirals. Lastly, it’s fucking insane to think that two European countries are involved in a conspiracy to wipe out the African peoples.

The Pope should fire his ass. Of course, we’ve seen that this new Pope is no fucking genius when it comes to PR.

So, in closing, I’d just like to say: Fuck you Archbishop Chimoio, and fuck the Catholic Church. Fuck you right in your medieval-pointy-hat-wearing heads.

This is the first season of Big Brother I’ve ever watched. I have nothing against reality TV, as so many of my friends do, so I never avoided it before, but it never seemed like it had anything worth seeking out either.

So, for some reason, I decided to watch Big Brother 8. The season is about halfway through or so, and so the competition is heating up. Two of the girls in the house are fairly religious Christians. They speak of faith and invoke God often. They do this most often in their “confessionals”, which is just them and the camera (er, and America).

In last night’s episode, one of them, let’s call her Whamber, was “on the block.” That means, she’s up for being voted out. She then lost a competition that would grant her immunity.

In her confessional, she’s asking God why he didn’t save her.

No, seriously.

Whether you’re an atheist, Christian, Muslim or devoted Cthulhu cultist, if you are reading this blog then it’s likely you are the sort of person who can see the absurdity in this.

Obviously the reason is that God doesn’t like you and would like you to stop calling. I’m sorry I had to be the one to tell you this, Whamber, but somebody had to.

Easter Sunday is the day that Christians celebrate the world’s most famous zombie, Jesus Christ. Traditionally, they celebrate this day by stealing traditions from pagans, hiding things from children, and then fattening those same children up on candy. There’s also something about a rabbit.

It’s a well known fact that Zombie Christ, like all zombies, hates the living and wants to feast on your flesh. So, be careful. (I must admit to being a little confused about why so many people are looking forward to his return. He doesn’t sound very nice.)

Oh, on a related note: Hey, zombie movie fans, Ash Wednesday is not what you think it is It makes much less sense.

tags technorati : easter religion zombies run_for_your_life_its_jesus

And, before I forget…

Last week, Ronn Owens (KGO 810 AM) had a segment on his show where he allowed anyone to call in and spout off on any subject, without interruption or argument from Ronn. It was pretty entertaining. Most of all, the one call directed at (not specifically) me:

Caller: I hate atheists because it’s stupid to say there’s no god.

Ah, such an eloquent and well-crafted argument. It deserved a retort, but fortunately I heard it as I pulled in to the parking lot at work and didn’t have time. I don’t think I could have matched such wit.

Get comfy, kids. I learned something astonishing recently and I want to tell you all about it.

The banana is proof of Intelligent Design, and therefore, by logical extension, proof of the existence of God.

Kirk Cameron and his evangelist friend Ray Comfort have a series of materials to help the Saved convert their friends and family. The ministry they’ve put together is called The Way of The Master. (I can’t tell if that sounds more like a Chow Yun Fat movie or an ancient text by Sun Tzu.)

Anyways, they have these videos. One of the videos is about Atheists. (Hey! That’s me! Well, at least until I heard about the bananas!) In this video, Ray Comfort (isn’t that the most warm and inviting name ever?) explains how because someone made a soda can, so must all things have a maker. He explains this to establish the playing field so that we know what kind of brilliant thinker he is. Then, he explains how the banana is the atheist’s nightmare.

Allow me to repeat that last part in case you were skimming: The banana is the atheist’s nightmare.

He explains this by pointing out that the ridges on the banana, three on top and two below, match the “grooves” of your hand as you hold it. This proves that “the banana and hand are perfectly made, one for the other.” Some other features are that it has a non-slip surface, a pull tab to open it, a biodegradable wrapper that is “perforated” and folds down gracefully over your hand, a top which is just the right shape for the human mouth and it’s curved towards the face.

All of that is simply irrefutable proof that it must have been made by God. Right? See for yourself. The full episode is on Google Video here (28:37). Or, you can check out just the banana segment of the episode here (02:07).

Well, some skeptics have replied with one word: Pineapple.

Pretty clever, but I’m so convinced by the banana argument, what do I do? It’s too early to have my faith shaken so severely… OH! I know! The pineapple is obviously the fruit of the devil! Right? What? No?

That’s the last time I let Kirk Cameron be my spiritual guide.

I do think Ray’s partially right about the atheist’s nightmare bit… personally, I think it’s Ray Comfort in a banana suit.

The Post-Rapture Post bills themselves as the postal service of the Saved. You see, when the rapture comes and all the whackjobs goody-goody faithful are swept into heaven, they will have many friends and family left behind. (Remember, being a good and moral person doesn’t actually secure your spot in Heaven.) So, the Post-Rapture Post is a service that will, for a small fee, deliver messages from the Saved to those left behind.

So, if you’re pretty sure about your place in heaven and want to send a message to your friends and family that just didn’t believe hard enough, head on over to the site. Or, maybe you want to send a “told you so” postcard to that silly Jew next door or the stubborn atheist down the street. Yes, they really have “told you so” cards. Most of their messages are less spiteful, however.

The great thing about the service is that you can be sure it will still be up and running after the rapture because it’s run by atheists.

PS: Hey, here’s a thought. Maybe the Rapture already happened and everyone who believes in it who is still here just didn’t believe enough. Maybe it happened in 1937 and Amelia Earhart was the only true believer. Hmm.

TAM4 stands for The Amaz!ng Meeting 4 and it’s going on right now (January 26th to 29th) at the Stardust in Vegas. It’s essentially a skeptics convention put on by the JREF (James Randi Educational Foundation).

Guests include James Randi (of course), Penn & Teller, the Mythbusters, Phil Plait, Murray Gell-Mann, Ellen Johnson… a huge range of people that I’d love to meet and listen to speak.

I wasn’t paying attention to when TAM4 was scheduled, but I REALLY wanted to go. I thought it was much later in the year. I’m seriously bummed. I’m going next fucking year. >.<

dammit.

Ok, could they BE any more off on their demographic targetting?

I mean, come on. Nevermind that I’m an atheist with a girlfriend. With the exception of Catholic Schoolgirls and naughty Nuns, I’m just generally not attracted to Christians, ya know? In fact, “non-Christian/Jew/Muslim” is kinda high on my desired featureset (heh) for a woman. (No offense to my Christian friends. ;) Of course, they’re prolly mostly happy that I’m not sullying their womenfolk with my heathen ways.)

The spam claims that their service has “worked for 1000’s just like” me. huh. I find that just a tad bit unlikely. Lying, spamming gits.

Fuck ChristianCafe.com. Fuck DailyFYI. Fuck all’a y’all.

PS: The spammers, DailyFYI, put their mailing address on the spam. Do I know anyone in Tarzana? If so, please drive by 18324 Oxnard Street Unit 2 and moon them or something.